Sarcastic quotes

Get ready to laugh a lot. You will find a lot of humorous, sarcastic quotes in this collection. The following sarcasm quotes are very specific. This is so-called spicy humor. If you are tired to be a sweet teddy bear with your friends or girlfriends and you want to tease them a bit, you should include these awesome sarcastic sayings in your private message or simply post them on Facebook wall.

Fun Sarcastic quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

Best Sarcastic quotes

Silence is golden.
duct tape is silver.

It’s weird, marriage. It’s like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their ‘other half.

Girl you’re like a car accident, cause I just can’t look away.

People say that laughter is the best medicine…
your face must be curing the world!

Sarcasm quotes

Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

You go girl! And don’t come back.

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

I’m sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

Sarcastic sayings

Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.

Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack.

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you that they can’t laugh either.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

Funny sarcastic quotes

Do you want to post something funny and, at the same time spicy on Facebook wall? We have many awesome and funny sarcastic quotes for you. You can include them into a private message for your friends or just share them online for all your subscribers to see them. People will enjoy sarcastic funny quotes.

If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.

If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met!

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

Sarcastic funny quotes

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.

Boy: “You’re not my type.
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??

I don’t do what I’m told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Sarcastic friend quotes

Do you like to tease your friends from time to time? You will find the following sarcastic friend quotes very helpful to compose a funny message for a Facebook post. Discover many sarcastic best friend quotes, but make sure that your friends will not take them personal. Remain funny, but not mean.

A backward poet writes inverse

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

I like older men because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Sarcastic best friend quotes

Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But,smoking bacon will cure it.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

My parents won’t say which of their six kids they love the best, but they have told me I finished just out of the top five.

Hilarious ironic quotes

Good ironical jokes are always appreciated by people. Sweet quotes are too boring. If you like sarcasm, you will love the following hilarious ironic quotes. Using such quotes you will make even the gloomiest friend smile.

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?

I was debating on jumping and ending my despair over losing my best friend, but I decided to call you instead.

Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.

Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

My friends are so much cooler than yours.
They’re invisible.

Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic.


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